my life lesson this year

My life lesson is karma and luck. karma is a (female dog) with a capital B. Luck just hates me. At the beginning of the year I felt really unlucky.

I usually make fun of my friends and they usually make fun of me, but I get the luck... The bad luck. Not all that long ago I lightly pushed one of my friends in gym and a volleyball hit me about 3 seconds after. Normally my luck involves me falling, having something thrown at me, or being yelled at, then having something thrown at me, then me falling. Me and good luck don't mix, by that I mean whenever something good is about to happen it ends up being to good to be true. You know whats really Ironic... my name and #13 in Spanish are both pronounced the same.

13 is usually an unlucky number... Like on Friday the 13Th bad things usually happen to people, some of my friends have good luck on that day. Friday the 13Th is the one day I get a break from bad luck... But I don't get good luck either. That's usually when karma gets me, At least I don't purposely harm people. Or karma would KILL ME.

letter to colonel sanders

dear Colonel Sanders

I'm writing this letter because I kind of found an eye in my popcorn chicken and I don't think that's right for two things.

It was not chicken, I don't think eyes are edible. Because of that I think I should get $10,000 Because I got sick from the eye fluids.

I thought it was chicken because it was battered. some of the symptoms were nausia, upset stomach. I won't report to the police if you just send me the money through mail. That way we won't have a problem. Oh by the way since Im writing this letter I might as well say you should put less grease on your food... just a little advice.

sincerely: customer

skate shoes ad

This is going out to all skaters try our new high tech skate shoes. They are so awesome that they make your feet smell better. there's a special formula mixed with the plastic that make your feet smell super delicious, the soles are extra comfy for the perfect skate boarding experience. The grip is made up of reinforced rubber to insure that the grip will never wear down. the laces are glow in the dark so you can skate in style at night, and of course if you buy these shoes they massage your bottom of your feet to make sure you live three more days after wearing them once. best of all your feet will never sweat ever again.

personification

I feel wind rushing around me. I hear all the plants rustling in the wind. I smell morning dew all around me. I taste water from the dew. I see a field of plants all over. I'm thinking about all of the things around me.

deadrising 2 voice

Deadrising 2 is coming out August 31st!!! Its going to be the best game ever because you can kill zombies in las vegas (paradice city). You will be able to create food or drinks, you will be able to humiliate zombies by throwing pie in there faces or putting masks on there head and put a wooden barrel over there body. Best of all you can make your own weapons like

just desert

There was a woman that lived in the middle of the forest in a cottage, because her father died and she tried to get away from it all. so then she moved away and built the cottage. after she built the cottage she planted a garden she had all the food you could ever imagine.

after 1month she grew a pumpkin patch and decided she wanted to make some pumpkin pie for dessert. she went outside to get a pumpkin, when she found one she liked she picked it up ( it was very warm).
When she went inside it seemed to glow, she drew a knife and lowered it to the pumpkin, she fell in a trance and saw her dead father.

He said the only way to free his spirit from the pumpkin was to cut it in half. when she cut it in half their was a bright light. her fathers spirit rose and exploded into a big flash of light. when she finally made the pie. it was the best pie she ever had.

Solanum in a game with zombies

Solanum is the epidemic in a few movies. It's a disease that reanimates corpses into... ZOMBIES. It takes only about 24 hours to kill a live person, then seven hours to reanimate there corpse. even though this has nothing to do with what I'm talking about, A xenomorph (alien) could easily kill a zombie because aliens are epic. in the game DEADRISING you get to blast zombies to oblivion and yell " ROFL".

" fun fact"

zombie cats do not eat a jar of peanut butter a day... they eat three.

New in school

today was my first day in a new school. I never new it, but it would be the worst place I have ever seen. while I was walking to the new school, I had some thoughts trying to scare me like, what if every one laughs at me, or what if all the teachers were strict. when I got to the school it was black with red stripes all around, broken windows and six stories high, it looked like a haunted mansion.Walking up to the school, I noticed noone was their no one was out side, I opened the door, it had a lot of people in side, they were all wearing cheery colors. feeling a bit out of place because I was the only one wearing a black sweater, a black shirt, black jeans, black... every thing else, and I was the only person with long hair. the building on the inside was also pure black, so you could barely see me... which in my opinion is a good thing.

"Hey, You" said a big sour burly voice " I've never seen you here before" I turned around it was some 15 year old... I think he was a Satanist. He wore a black sweater with a pentagram on it and blue jeans, " I see your also the dark type." he said " my names Kale." then I replied " don't let my clothes fool you I'm actually a christian, I just don't like color very much." Kale just stared at me blankly then ran away. " that was weird." I thought then I heard a bell ring but I didn't know which class to go to. So I asked around to see where the office was. It was on the sixth floor. hurriedly I ran up as fast as I could then I saw a dark figure and things went black.

When I woke up I was tied to a wall arms up in a twisted position and my chest was all bloody.
around the room all a saw were a lot of black bricks for the wall and a whip which I'm assuming is how my chest got bloody. I saw the figure again it was a man wearing a pure black robe, he was pacing but it did not look like he was walking nor were there any sound of foot steps. " so your the christian boy I've heard so little about, but I would like to hear more" his voice was haunting and echoing in my mind, it was as if the devil himself was speaking to me. then he said "Did you know there is no room left in hell for savage souls." I thought for a moment, how would he know that's just creepy. " but hell has a surprise for earth... an epidemic with no cure maybe some natural immunities in humans, but. no cure" I yelled "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT" " I will show you he went over to the left wall and clapped twice the wall opened to reveal a glass panel there were people in there screaming for help " release the gas." quickly a green gas came out of the walls inside and the people suffocated and collapsed. I tried to look away but there was a chain around my neck preventing me from doing so. " i will leave you hear for a few hours and you'll see what happens to there corpses." he said. then I yelled " Who are you" "you can refer to me as death."

After 15 hours the corpses started moving. twitching, screeching, and coughing, one of them got up it had pale skin bloody white eyes and yellow nails and horribly creepy yellow teeth with bloody gums. They were moaning, screeching and trying to break the glass. Scared, I screamed till my entire head wanted to explode. the man came back then said " Do you like them." "what are those things." I replied " They are minions of hell, they feed off the flesh of the living, they feel no pain, they are hell itself." "Your crazy. " I yelled " in seven days I will release them to bring hell on earth, I will set you free, you can prepare yourself... but don't say a word." All went black. When I woke up I was at home " it was all a dream heh heh" I started laughing I went down stairs and looked at a calender. It was Saturday. the voice echoed in my head "seven days." seven days later I went out side, no one was there. I heard moaning, and screaching I looked beside me there it was. The same face as in the dungeon... death.

runon sentences

i feel sick because I ate to much i ate so much that i went to bed and thats where I am now.

im allergic to mushrooms and i ate a mushroom cap which wasn't a good idea.

fred was walking home from school and screamed because he's allergic to cats and he saw one.

bob brought home a cd and the cds name was bring me the horizon pray for plagues which is the best cd they had at the store.

rudolph was listening to the band putrid mastication when the teacher got mad and thought he was wathing south park which upset him really bad

fixing a run on sentence

They're is a variety of video games, they can vary from sports to shooting. You also could be on at five in the morning but you would have to turn the volume down, Or your parents will yell

sentence opener paragraph

At his house, the boy was playing dead rising when he heard a SCREECH he ran down stairs and you will not believe what he saw, a zombie. terrified, he ran up to it and kicked it's shin and ran away. stupidly he grabbed a fork and started to do (sarcastically) sooo much damage by.. stabbing it with a fork. Although the fork did nothing the zombie got bored and fell asleep. the boy thought it was dead so he ran out the door to find 100,000,000, more zombies so the boy took two slow steps back. and ran. to walmart. Glowing the sign that said "we sell for less every day" was also covered in dirt (how did that get up there) he ran inside the store and yelled "AT LAST I MADE_" then he tripped. which in this case yelling isn't a good idea, because zombies still have eardrums. All of a sudden six zombies came out of the electronic section, one of which was extremely nerdy he had harry potter glasses, long nerdy disgusting finger nails, and pocket protectors. so he screamed peed his pants and fainted, no one will miss him... because everyone is dead I was not trying to be impolite or anything.

sentence openers

stupidly he ran into a hoard of zombies.



quickly, the boy ran into a stop sign while being chased by a marsh mellow.



because he was smart, he hit a zombie in the face with a baseball bat.



because I felt like it, I ate the marsh mellow I mentioned earlier.



screaming, he ran from a zombie.



laughing, he jumped out the 9 story building window.



terrified, he hid under his bed saying "happy place, HAPPY PLACE".



scared, he did something funny.



at the mall the boy was surrounded by zombies.



in a car the family was surrounded by marsh mellows.

the ZOMBIE Easter bunny

one day the Easter bunny turned into a zombie, and I'll tell you how... if you give me an entire banana cream pie. I'm kidding... most likely. He was walking down a street when he was attacked by 7 zombies. and that can be turned into a joke... how did the bunny cross the road... he didn't... he got eaten alive by ZOMBIES before he had a Chance lolololololololololololol. aaaaaany way He got hit by a car after he was eaten and reanimated, so his skull cracked but didn't do severe damage to the brain so he still partially lived and 3 ribs broke and he...ate...the..driver.so there were 2 zombies, the start to an Apocalypse.

The zombie Easter bunny now roams only, I REPEAT!!! ONLY! on Easter day to take victims to it's evil lair of the white fluffy chocolate covered white milk willy wonka chocolate ooh, ah. Then he covers you with MAN EATING CHOCOLATE FLAVORED MARSHMELLOWS. every living things produce some sort of waste but the MAN EATING CHOCOLATE FLAVORED MARSHMELLOWS produce mini chocolate eggs, that if given the right amount of time hatch into CHOCOLATE EASTER chickens.

once that is complete the easter bunny goes into your house hides the EVIL... whatever is in his bag at the moment CANDY then BITES a CHOCOLATE CARROT while WATCHING you... SLEEEEEEP.

roflcopter

My word is roflcopter because Microsoft SAM says so. the roflcopter goes soisoisoisoisoisoi. its fuel is laughing gas, and it's as funny as constipation. It is made out of ROFL which is stronger than a wedgie. and it's inventor is some nerdy kid who is in love with rainbows and unicorns.

Every time it say's soi a corpse reanimates (turns into a zombie). I think it should be a word because it's a very complicated word that means roll on floor laughing copter.

and yes i know this thing is really short but... hey I ran out of ideas.

there were 2 kids a TV and 2 controllers they were playing pong one of them won and one of them lost the winner bragged the loser spazzed and had a mental breakdown and peed his shirt

S.S

There once was a kid named Tim who was afraid of solanum. Solanum is a disease that reanimates the corpse of a human/animal body in shorter terms it turns people into zombies.

His life is bad because he avoids all means of contact with people, but one day he snapped when he saw some one who had no tan was eating drumstick and he thought it was an arm so he ran to his house screaming " THE APOCALYPSE IS COMING, THE APOCALYPSE IS COMING AAAAAAAHHHHHH"

scaredy student

fear solanum (a corpse reanimating disease)
it effects his life because he fears the world is getting infected by it so avoids all means of contact with people
he over comes the fear byhiding in his basement and realizing he's not in danger because there are no zombies outside
his life improves because the disease isn't they're so he has more time to prepare

I would build and under ground test facility where I could do what ever I want, when ever I want, I would spread viruses through one room using lab animals as test subjects, the main virus I would test is salanum a disease that creates zombies. I would test how fast it spreads what it spreads through and what species it effects the most/the least, including humans, I would also try to invent the antidote. after I got bored of that I would steal the dead rising 2 beta from capcom (a game company that made mega man... and dead rising) and I would play that for days on end. Then I would go visit my family up north in Fort St John. I would also buy 9,999,999,991 pies for every one. and when I got fat off all those pies I would go kayaking. Ooh and after that I would go back to my underground test facility and mutate myself so I would look like something you might see on resident evil. Then I would start a war when baby penguins attack... who would fight back on a baby penguin so technically i win HA.

during spring brake I'm going to hope capcom is lying about delaying because I WANT DEAD RISING 2 NNNNOOOOOOWWWWWW. anyway I am also hoping to go to fort saint john so I can see my nieces and my sisters my dad aunt uncle cousins and every one else. I also want to go kayaking so i can. uhhhh... kayak.Oh and this is sort of on topic but i would attempt to start a zombie apocalypse and RULE THE WORLD MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA "cough" "cough".

If i were to have a band then its name would be rancid undead the type of music would be screamo, death metal the look would be pure black and red maybe white, the sound would be a loud, fast guitar and drums deep scream and bass. and the first song would be called... excuses and the lyrics would be

YOU HAVE ALL WAYS LIED TO ME I'M SO MAD I REFUSED TO EAT.... I'D RATHER MAD COWS DISEASE YOU'LL FALL TO YOUR FAILING LIFE'S DECEASE..EXCUSES.. why me.. WHY MEEEE WHATS WITH ALL YOUR LIES YOU WOULDN'T CARE IF I DIED.. EXCUSES_ EXCUSES WILL MAKE A MAN INSANE THEY MAY EVEN GIVE HIS FAMILY PAIN.. EXCUSES LOCKED ME IN MY ROOM MAKES ME WANT TO END IT WITH A BOOM

I ate a radioactive Taco and turned invisible, then I ate a regular taco because I was still hungry... So i went to look for area 51, the next day I found it, so I went inside and looked for a vial of shapshifting powers, and I found a tube that said X-100-64786538664519-do not touch, may be lethal. and I ended up Accidentally on purpose taking it, I left went to my house and drank it, and i could change into anything that I could think of, and i could choose when to be invisible. I went to USA so i could act like an experiment gone wrong, (which i was)I walked in the middle of the road changed into a GIANT demon with big horns, big pointy shiny teeth, (and it's name was porky) then I turned invisible and there were millions of cars crashing into each other. then i went to the white (racist) house to steal the deed to USA, so I turned into the demon that I was earlier and and got everyone to evacuate the premises, buuut before I stole the deed I picked up the presidents body guard to scare the uhhh... stuff (cough cough) out of him by opening my big porky mouth and ROARED right in his face the through him into a bounce house and as soon as he left the bounce house to run i squished it right behind him then I stole the deed.So after that I turned invisible and started tormenting people in new york by turning invisible and haunting them until they moved to Transylvania. and with my shapeshifting power I would haunt people as an ungodly creature with the head of a demonic possessed human, the body of a snake lizard thing, the eyes of a preying mantis, the tail of a demon, and the legs of a dragon. and after I got bored of haunting then I would shapshift into a disease called salonum (which is a disease that reanimates the corpse of a living or used to be living creature)and then I would infect 100 people and turn invisible to watch the carnage mua_hahaha because most people don't prepare for a zombie invasion they won't have the supplies to fend them off because the only way to stop a zombie is by destroying the brain cutting off the head isn't good enough it will still be able to bite oh and the funny thing is people don't know to burn the corpse or it might reanimate again... so basicly i would put the world to an end.

what makes me feel weak is school because I don't get very good grades and people call me stupid but I'm actually just lazy.

What makes me feel powerful is gaming because anything is possible like in deadrising you can be a guy that survives in a mall filled with... ZOMBIES. in prototype you are a guy trying to find out why he can shape shift and he is in new york almost filled with...ZOMBIES. in left 4 dead you are with 4 survivors trying to survive an onslaught of... ZOMBIES.

zombies are usually nuclear infections through air or living things or non living things. the infection can move and do what ever the host could when it was alive,(ex) if the person was a good runner then the infection could move just as fast.

the way the infection works, is that when it enters the body it makes it's way through the blood stream, and wherever the infection is in the body you will be paralyzed until you find some sort of vaccine then once you can't even breath it will make its way to the brain, you will be able to move again but you will forget every thing that just happened. in 1-2 months you will feel major migraines, 2 more weeks you will feel to sick to eat, 3 days after that you will experience seizures and stomach pains, 5 weeks after that you will be prone to excessive bleeding and lose skin color no matter how much you tan, the next day oh wait... uh never mind there is no next day you'll pretty much be a walking corpes with but you will be able to see and think but you won't control your actions your virus will.